A Writer's Life

Unblogging

I haven't written again since I decided to reopen my blog.  I was thinking about this when I was driving home from work this afternoon and trying to decide the reasons why.  One of the reasons is that although I am pretty open, I sometimes get tired of people thinking that they could read my blog and know who I was, just because I've made a few notes online.  So, that's part of it.  I guess in some ways, I'm more like my daughter than I thought (she writes her school essays in tiny print so that no one can read them.) 

My philosophy about Reality Blogging is that the best posts are the most imperfect ones.  But it's sometimes hard to make myself write about real life.  It's much easier to paint by the numbers than reveal what happened the day I had an anxiety attack at work, the topic of my latest cluster of nightmares, or why I was crying this morning when I was telling a girlfriend how proud I am of her.  So, writing the truth opens up the doors to judgment, but sugarcoating my life makes it so sickeningly sweet that I can't stand to take even a tiny slice.

That's not to say that my life's not good.  It is.  I refinanced my home this summer.  I have new paint, new carpet and all new furniture. I bought a new car.  I'm in a good relationship.  I'm constantly challenged at work, and I work with many good people who support me and come to me for advice.  I'm just not sure how many of those details I want to share here, especially when I know there might be people lurking who'd love to use any/all of my writing against me.

The other part of it is that I started this blog to just practice writing.  It's suppose to be a rough draft, but when people hear that I write professionally, they think that my blog is final copy.  It's not.  So, then I start putting pressure on myself to write things that are insightful or brilliant.  That's too much pressure.  I'd rather watch America's Next Top Model than try and sell myself here.

But, even though there are many good reasons for me not to blog, there are also good reasons for me to go forward.  The thought that stood out when I was on the way home today was that this blog is like a photo album for my daughter.  There may not be all that many photographs, but there's lots of word pictures. 

Rachel

Her Character

The leaves turned the corner of fall,

The first snowflakes fell inside the headlights glow,

Halloween costume shopping started

Thanksgiving invitations issued

November's calendar page about to debut,

Let the novel writing commence.

Rachel

Your Turn: My story idea came to me this summer, in August, during an instant messenging sessions with a friend.  The title of this year's novel is "Her Character" and it's going to be filled with all the crazy plot twists and turns and leaps of logic that you've come to expect from my novel plots in prior years.  Watch for a link to my 2008 Novel blog, with exerpts and my thoughts on writing the novel as it happens.  (NanoWrimo kicks off on November 1.)

The Melody Lingers On

The other day

my daughter said,

you used to love blogging so much

why did you stop

and I made that decision for various reasons

but now they've come unravelled

the thoughts about it untangled,

so much changed since May;

so much stayed the same.

Rachel